First off, he told a joke (with just the right amount of action)
Leaning back he then awaited some kind of reaction
Derek turned towards him, his eyes a brilliant blue
Stiles' joke fell flat when Derek started growling, too
Derek left the room then, while muttering something barbaric
Leaving Stiles to ponder if the problem was the joke, or just Derek

The second attempt, in retrospect, wasn't his smartest plan
It would have been better to knock himself out with a heavy frying pan
You shouldn't pounce on a werewolf, especially when he's alone
Nor should you try to TICKLE him (unless you're Sylvester Stallone)
Stiles ended up with a cracked rib, some bruises and a concussion
Derek said "if you do it again, I'll kill you - end of discussion"

Stiles was never a quitter, though, so when he tried again
He was equipped with two items that appeal to many men;
Beer in one hand, and in the other he held a TV Guide
"Hey Derek, guess what, a game is on and hey, can I come inside?"
He was gonna mention the DVD that he had brought, just in case
But didn't have time before Derek slammed the door shut in his face

He wasn't harmed that time, though, and counted that as success
No wonder Derek wouldn't hang out when his house was such a mess
Stiles could help with that - but he'd only get one shot
He did it all one day when Derek was busy training with Scott
When Derek came home and found that Stiles had painted his living room green
He promptly threw him out and threatened to choke him to death with his spleen

While Stiles thought that Derek's threats were violent and bizarre
He spent a pleasant evening breaking into Derek's car
He had invested in a "Find your Peace"-self-help CD
And put it in the player, before giggling with glee
The next day Derek crashed his car, just going up a hill
No one knew what happened, but he did send Stiles the bill

No money and no smiles from Derek - Stiles needed this to end
His eyes narrowed as he decided to seek out the help of his friend
Scott wasn't thrilled when Stiles finally told him 'bout his scheme
But he leaned in and together they started to plan the rest as a team
Two hours later they drove Stiles' jeep to Scott's boss
Prepared to ask for his help - even forgetting about lacrosse

Derek knew that something was off before he went through the door
When he came in he stared at who were seated right there on the floor
There was Stiles and there was Scott, and there, between the two
Was a tiny german shepherd puppy; ear askew
The puppy stared at Derek, and Derek stared right back
Like both of them were waiting for the other to attack

Then suddenly, the puppy whimpers; a pathetic sound
It wobbles towards Derek and then falls down on the ground
And the big and badass werewolf slowly melts away
Stiles is pleased to know that he has FINALLY saved the day
As Scott and Stiles wear matching grins that reach from ear to ear
Derek smiles a crooked smile that's tiny - but sincere

18/9 2011